


Don't Get Too Close (It's Dark Inside)

by Tangela



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Brian Banner's A+ Parenting, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Childhood Trauma, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Science Bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 08:03:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14869877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tangela/pseuds/Tangela
Summary: Tony finds Bruce drunk and gets a glimpse into his dark past.





	Don't Get Too Close (It's Dark Inside)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a lot darker than what I'd normally write, so please heed the warnings in the tags.

Tony hadn’t seen Bruce all day. He was a quiet person and liked to keep to himself, but Tony had thought that given the time they’d spent together, he was the one of the few exceptions to the rule. Something wasn’t right. He wasn’t in the lab, hadn’t been all day, so Tony decided to try his room. He knew that it was Bruce’s safe space, and normally would stay well clear of it, but he had to know if he was okay.

Tony knocked on the door. “Bruce?” he called out. No answer. He opened the door. The room was almost completely dark, save for a little light coming from a bedside lamp. Bruce was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall and a bottle in his hands.

“Bruce…?”

Bruce looked over at him, eyes not quite focused. He was drunk.

“Y’know, if you’re gonna be drinking my good scotch, the least you can do is let me join you,” Tony said in a snarky tone.

Bruce huffed a laugh. “Don’t worry, I bought this one myself. Wouldn’t want you to think I’m a charity case.”

 _‘What the hell was that supposed to mean?’_ Tony frowned, crossing his arms. “I don’t see you as charity.”

Bruce scoffed, taking a drink straight from the bottle. Tony was now beginning to understand why he’d never seen him drink. He’d figured it was a big green issue.

“Hard day?” he asked, trying not to be goaded into an argument.

“Hard life.”

“I didn’t think you drank.”

“I don’t.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Right. Then what is this called, exactly?”

“Self-medication.”

Yeah, something was definitely not right. He’d seen Bruce lose control on multiple occasions, but not like this. This was way out of character. Not for Tony, but certainly for Bruce. He sat down on the edge of Bruce’s bed, watching him. He didn’t want to force him to open up, considering the mood he was in, so he waited for Bruce to decide when he wanted to talk.

“Do you know sometimes I can see what he does?” he said at last. “Who he kills, who gets away at the last minute, their screams, their blood on his hands.” Bruce’s voice was so soft and calm, as if he were very far away. His normal stammer and nervous tics were completely gone, and his eyes were glassy. Tony suspected it was more than the drink’s doing. He had never seen this side of Bruce, and it was freaking him out. If he had a choice between this and a Hulk-out right now, he would honestly choose the latter no question. The Hulk was easy to understand, even if he was extremely dangerous, but this…This was something else entirely.

“He enjoys it, did you know that?” Bruce said suddenly into the silence, and Tony jumped. “He's so full of rage that he actually likes killing, and it's so intense that I can feel it too. What it’s like to kill and destroy and want to do it again.”

Tony shook his head. “No, you don’t. You’re not like him. You’re not a killer.”

Bruce laughed, and Tony felt his blood run cold. “But we’re the same, he and I. Two sides of the same coin. He pulls the trigger, but I gave him the gun.”

Tony had already had quite enough of this new side to Bruce. He knelt down in front of him, gently prying the nearly empty bottle from his hands.

“Cut the crap, Banner, this isn’t you and we both know it. You’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. Too kind if anything, and the world’s taken advantage of it, chewed you up and spat you right back out again. You are not him.”

Bruce looked up at him, and Tony felt as if he were invisible, as if Bruce was looking right through him. “If I were stronger, he wouldn’t get away with as much as he does. Maybe I don’t try enough. Maybe…” Bruce leaned forward, and Tony could see the green glint in his dark eyes. “I hate the world as much as he does, and I let him do it.”

“Bruce, you’re scaring me.” Tony’s voice was barely a whisper.

Bruce leaned in until he was almost nose to nose with Tony, warm breath against his skin. “You should run. Run away while you still can. Before the monster comes out to play.”

Tony froze, unable to move until Bruce sat back again. He could feel his anxiety rising like a wave and forced it back down. Now was not the time for a panic attack, not when Bruce was like this. He had to stay in control, one of them had to.

“You’re not going to let him out.” Tony wasn’t even sure if that was true at this point, but he tried to make as sound as if he believed it. “You’ve been doing so well, you’re not going to throw that away.”

“Are you scared?”

“Terrified.” It was written all over his face, why bother lying?

“But you’re still here.”

If Tony wasn’t 100% certain that things could only get worse, he would have punched Bruce by now, anything to snap him out of this. “Of course I’m still here! You’re my friend, I’m not just gonna leave you like this. Listen to me, you can try and scare me off all you want, but I’m not going anywhere. I care about you, whether or not you want to hear it.”

Bruce scoffed, but said nothing. Tony decided to bite the bullet.

“You don’t drink, you said that. So what’s brought this on?”

“It’s a special occasion.”

Bruce took the bottle out of Tony’s hand, taking a swig before Tony managed to wrestle it back off him. “No, no more of this. I think you’ve had enough.”

“That’s rude, Tony, my old man liked his drink. You should show a little more respect.”

Bruce had never opened up to Tony about his past. Other than the reports and what he had seen with his own eyes, Tony didn’t actually know a lot about Bruce. He could still feel the fear fluttering in his stomach, but at least now things were beginning to make a little more sense.

“Bruce, if you needed to talk, you should have come to me sooner,” he said softly.

Bruce scoffed. “If I wanted to talk, I wouldn’t be drinking. It’s a waste of breath, he doesn’t deserve it.”

“But you’re still in this state,” Tony pointed out. He knew he was toeing the line, and his anxiety was screaming at him to shut up, but when had he ever known when to call it quits?

“I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t want to think about it, I can’t-”

“I get it. I do. My father and I never got along either. Never felt like he cared. Maybe, he did, I don’t know. Had a funny way of showing it, though.” Tony sighed. Talking about it never got any easier, but he couldn’t watch Bruce suffer like this alone. “I know what it’s like having a father that was never there.”

Bruce laughed without a trace of humour. “God, you’re lucky. I wish he’d never been there.”

Tony sat quietly, letting Bruce find his words. He was talking, this was good, it was progress.

“Did your father ever come home drunk and beat you so hard, you had to say you fell down the stairs at the hospital? Did you watch your father murder your mother right in front of you? Don’t tell me you know what it’s like.”

 _Jesus Christ._ Whatever Tony was expecting, it was not that. He had no idea what to say. Sure, he and Howard had had a difficult relationship, to say the least, but it was nothing compared to this. He thought the Hulk was Bruce’s biggest problem – and really, that was a big enough problem on its own.

“God, Bruce, I’m so sorry,” he said softly, reaching out to touch Bruce’s arm, but quickly thinking better of it. Bruce seemed to be slowly coming around, the last thing he wanted was to completely set him off.

“He always said monsters don’t deserve nice things, so he took her away from me. Better to suffer a loss than to have to share her with a freak like me.”

Tony watched Bruce carefully. His fists were clenching and unclenching – a tic Tony noticed he shared with the Other Guy – but he was beginning to sound a little more like his usual tired self, and Tony found the courage to settle himself next to him, bottle still in hand.

“What you said earlier…Did he say those things to you?”

Bruce didn’t reply, but he didn’t have to.

“It’s not true, any of it. And I know you know that, somewhere deep down you know it’s not true.”

“Good people don’t kill.”

“I have. Does that make me a monster too?”

“Maybe. Maybe that’s what brought us together. Fate wants to keep us all in one place, keep an eye on us.”

Tony couldn’t stop the nervous laugh that escaped him. “Fate’s one sick son of a bitch.”

The two of them fell into an uncomfortable silence. Tony dared move a little closer to Bruce, and eventually he felt Bruce lean into him. He was somewhat sure that Bruce had come back to himself, even a little, but he couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that had settled over him. Seeing that side of Bruce was an experience, to say the very least.

Bruce didn’t seem to want to talk anymore, and after a while, Tony thought it best to call it a night. Bruce had suffered enough, and the hangover from hell was coming whether he liked it or not. The last thing he needed was no sleep on top of it all.

“Come on, big guy, let’s get you into bed.”

Tony made an attempt to move, but Bruce was very still against him. He’d fallen asleep. Tony sighed, putting an arm around him. He took a swig out of the bottle, resting his head against the wall. Tomorrow was a new day.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, my name is Tanja and I like to listen to Imagine Dragons and get upset over Bruce Banner. I've loved these two since I saw the first Avengers movie and thought it was about time I wrote something. I don't usually go this dark, but Bruce is a dark character. This is a warm-up for a much bigger (and hopefully much happier) piece I'm writing. Kudos and/or comments are always very much appreciated! Find me on tumblr under @maybeishouldwritesomething. Thank you for reading!


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